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over analyzed phalanges

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[11 Mar 2006|11:01am]
[ mood | excited about the wedding ]

been a while since i've updated. thought i would do it..just to do it.


Ashly and Stephen are getting married today!!
i'm very happy for them!
Mr. & Mrs. Stephen Sprouse.


school is getting to the point that I don't want to do it anymore.
like for serious.
it's boring..and Pointless.

later guys.
better update later..
maybe..if you're nice.

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[02 Feb 2006|04:27pm]
[ mood | loveing and missing you ]

It's been a while since i've updated.
life has been very very busy.
let's get into details shall we??

+I found the love of my life..well, actually God placed him in my life
+Mom got back from Iraq in 1 piece
+Graduation is like 3 months away
+I'm moving to Savannah after graduation
+I will get to spend my free time with the love of my life starting in august
+I am going prom dress shopping with Mrs. Christy this saturday
+My christian faith is growing

-some of my prayers are still unanswered
-my youth pastor is leaving
-graduation is like 3 months away
-i can't seem to shake the cough that i have
-my mom and i don't talk enough
-i'm not the christian God wants me to be
-I miss Kirkland.
there's the low down kiddies.
now go..and look at photos
from the depths of our dense perceptionsCollapse )

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L is for the way he looks at me. [22 Jan 2006|12:50am]

it's true.
i'm in love.

go tell your friends..but before you do..
find out if you are in love too..


go.you know you want to.
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so don't go worrying about me.... [14 Jan 2006|11:15pm]
[ mood | so maybe I do ]

I miss Kirk.

I'm praying for Lizzy Pabst and her family.
I'm wishing I could fall asleep.
I'm praying for Ellen Venable.
I'm wishing I could still fall asleep.
I'm praying for Michael Brand and his family.
I'm thinking I'm about to go to bed.

later kiddos

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you callin me a whore in WAL MART? [12 Jan 2006|10:01pm]
[ mood | missin the kirkland ]

100% posi
100% posi. good job.

How Posi Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

keepin it posi cause i is be the real gangsta.
peace up a-town down.

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The jealousy of being a girlfriend..haha [11 Jan 2006|01:11pm]
[ mood | he's making me dinner ]

all this shinanigans about updating my profile has made me wonder.
do you really read what i type or am i just here to defuse my ticking bomb?

either way.
i think i am falling for this guy. i'm more happy than i've ever been.
did that make sense? oh well.

wow. i really don't think i have a ticking time bomb anymore. i think he completely detonated it for me.

i have acquired many good new friends. such as follows.

taylor newton
(well that's all i can think of right now.)
but don't you go thinking i'm not popular or friendless.
i'll kill you..

(shit..does that mean i have a ticking time bomb?)

oh well.

4 comments|post comment

all her advice...it seems......useless [10 Jan 2006|10:26pm]
[ mood | catchin some sXe z's ]

Her: so what are your plans for Friday anway?
Him: i think im going to take this girl that i know out to dinner and maybe we might see a movie or something but im not sure yet
Her: oh really?
Her: do you and this girl have a thing going on?
Him: i think im in love with her
Him: but dont tell anyone
Him: i dont want her to find out
Her: oh yeah? you think?
Him: i think i know
Her: you think you know..so if she was to ask you what would you say?
Him: yes

so you see folks. love is real, and it can happen
God has someone for everyone. Just pray and one day, we will all recieve.

5 comments|post comment

[10 Jan 2006|01:23am]
[ mood | cloud 9 since day 1 ]

my life couldn't get any better.
+ i have the most amazing boyfriend
+ my friends are fantastic
+ my best friend Anne, is getting married
+ i have the most amazing boyfriend
+ Summer El-Talib is quite possibly the funniest person I know
+ i absolutely love being me right now.

so don't hold me back now..i'm on a roll.

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dream of a lifetime [08 Jan 2006|11:53am]
[ mood | i can't believe that happened ]

i think i may have had the worst dream of my entire life. i'm going to tell it on here so if you would like to know it continue reading, if not, i'm sure you have a million other friends who have livejournal.

INTRO: i have been having this weird dream about a house that kills people. I have no clue where exactly this house is but i know that i have been there before (in my dream) and it's not a pretty place. the house is a complete disaster, papers all over the floor, furniture all scratched up, birds and flies everywhere.

DREAM: well, for Mike Brand's last retreat, he decides to get a huge youth confrence going at this huge warehouse looking thing called the "Dome of God." well since i was the only one who knew the surroundings, i noticed the house that kills people. not only did i notice it, i saw it, i had been inside of it, i knew what it did, and i was petrified of it. well we got to the "dome of God" around sunset (which means it was pretty dark outside) and Mike told us not to wander off because it was cold outside and the georgia bulldogs were playing on the only tv that worked in the dome. Well, a whole bunch of youth from our church decide they want to take walks, and others decide to just walk alone, some decide to play retarded games. I felt like sleeping and just forgetting where i was and i prayed that nothing would happen to any of us while we were there. Well, Kirk comes in to the cabin to tell me that he is going to take a walk to loosen his legs up and that he will be back in a while. I threw him my huge mac flashlight and told him to be careful and for the first time i told him i loved him. well, i wake up at around 10 and notice that everyone is in the dome and waiting for a few other people from their church. i walked over to where our church was sitting and since our chairs had names on them, i rigged it to where i was sitting next to Kirk. well Kirk wasn't in his seat. i looked around the room to see if maybe he had been helping with the computer and stuff like that but he wasn't anywhere in the room. I asked Mike if he had seen him and he said not since we had gotten here and all splitten up. Naturally, i begin to worry and go out into the dark by myself looking and screaming for Kirk. I walked back to the back of the warehouse and think twice about going to that house. i figured, well if it was me, he would do the same thing, so i walked back towards the house. i got to the side of the house and noticed a light on that had never been on before. ( i had tried before in a different dream to see if it worked) i breathed a sigh of relief and thought, well good, he's okay, he's in there probably watching law and order or something. well i go in the house, and low and behold it's still the same as it was every other time i had gone in there. the inside was pitch black, there were things thrown all over the floor, birds and flies everywhere. I started screaming Kirk's name at the top of my lungs only to hear the sound of flies and birds feathers in the air. I got no response out of kirk so i ran through the house and finally found him. he was face down in one of the bedrooms with a knife in his back (sorry kirk, that's the way the dream went). i screamed and screamed and then ran out of the house. i got back with the youth in the dome and ran right to Mike, who was talking on stage to over 300 youth, and told him about Kirk. at first he thought i was just kidding and he told me to calm down and sit down. i told him i was serious and he needed to go call the police. he refused to listen so i screamed to everyone in the dome that they needed to call the police becuase someone was just killed. everyone started flipping out and screaming and all that, and all i could do was cry and mike came up to me and asked me what in the world was wrong with me. I told him very quietly that kirk was dead, and i had lost the love of my life. needless to say, we still had the conference, and our church had decided to be the host of this conference, so boyfriend dead or not, i had to get on that stage and do what i had practiced. i was in tears crying all night long, and i seemed to be the only one who was actually upset. well we left that following morning due to everyone's knowing that someone had died. I cried for hours on the way back home, it seemed to have taken forever. all i could think about was how much i wish i had meant i love you when i said it to him the previous night. usually i say be careful, but that night i didn't. i suppose that was my fault.

POSTSCRIPT: i woke up at 11 am this morning and called Kirk to make 100% that he was okay. good news folks, he's okay. this dream is by far the scariest i have had since like the 4th grade... oh well, it's okay, Kirk's okay and some more good news. i really do love him.


4 comments|post comment

live for this moment [06 Jan 2006|03:52pm]
[ mood | mm..times 4 huh? ]

these online classes are gonna kill me.
i have this boyfriend

 though..who keeps me happy so it should be too bad.
i am thankful for him..and I thank  God every night


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Heaven's not a place you go when you die [06 Jan 2006|12:19am]
[ mood | when I feel alive ]

I would like to take time out of my busy schedule ::cough:: NOT ::cough:: to thank Tori Dyches for bringing me to The Spill Canvas and helping me find my new favorite song.

Thank you Tori.

--Tide : The Spill Canvas

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive."
"Love is just a hoax so forget anything you have heard"

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I got the christmas present I've been waiting for [25 Dec 2005|02:38pm]
[ mood | SWEET ]

I've got a major crush on HIM..and now, i can finally be free with it.
As of December 24, I am TAKEN!!

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December 22 with him.. [23 Dec 2005|09:17am]
[ mood | YAY!!! ]

Last night, I had the best time I think I have ever had in about 6 months. I was over at one of my good friends house and we watched a number of movies. The one that meant the most of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be but it was creepy none the less. Anyways.. I have this semi-not really a pimple pimple on my tip of my nose and it was irritating the crap out of me..so I went to just rub it and my hand became held in someone elses. Since I didn't really think anything of it..I just picked up the other hand rubbed my nose again, and my hand was found in his. Our hands pretty much stayed together until we finished watching CSI..which by the way, we both love. :)

I haven't felt this special in a long time, and quite frankly, I don't want to lose that feeling.. .:shrug:. maybe this one's different. I dunno, but I'm excited..

shh...don't tell him.

4 comments|post comment

[24 Nov 2005|04:02pm]
[ mood | thxgiving...mmmmmmm ]

Happy Turkey Day! 


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A pirates life for starting in 2006 [05 Nov 2005|03:55pm]
[ mood | YES!!! God you are amazing ]

if you want to congratulate me just do something simple.
leave me the word 'clap' on my comments.



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raw raw raw ....X s X e X [30 Oct 2005|09:58pm]
[ mood | AHHHH I LOVE ME!!! and you ]


me and Karmi are going... you should too...

Super pimps!

Me and Janelephant being raw...duh..it's what we do best....

2 comments|post comment

life never seems to let me down when I want it to [26 Oct 2005|11:15pm]
[ mood | Bring me back to you ]




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change...can it happen? [18 Oct 2005|11:03pm]
[ mood | i need change in my life..bad ]

so i was talking to this one person i find very reliable and trustworthy. he told me that i need to change. by change he meant that i need to not be a the same kind of person that i was 10 years ago. i.e: my attitude, my "short fuse". i really don't want to be like my parents. i don't want to fight and argue and get upset over little things when i grow up and have my own family.

not sure how exactly to start this change but i know i need to.
not want to not if it happens but I NEED TO!!!!

please encourage me.....if you see me upset or pissed for some little insignificant reason, please please please please please stop me and tell me. i don't want you to think that i will blow up in your face. i really need this for myself. i can't keep going on like this. i need change.. bad..

in need of change

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[18 Oct 2005|06:04pm]
[ mood | what in the world. ]

You know I readily assume...
and somehow, I told you so doesn't quite cut it.

times 2.

why can't you just be happy?

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"come see me when you find your time" [11 Oct 2005|04:17pm]
[ mood | all i ever wanted was you ]

Why when we get something good in our lives does it only stay for 24 hours?
I wish everyone knew how i feel right now..
I am hurt so bad.... .:cries out loud:.

My mom got home (back in 'Ham) on Sunday and I didn't know.
Me and Jay went to Port Wentworth and asked if my step dad had heard from her.
She was in the back with him and my little brother.
I saw her for like 3 minutes and then left.
I promised to her that she could come see me at school.
GREAT!! I get see my mom..

"All good things must come to an end at one point or another"

She came up to the school
Mrs. Ford told her because she wasn't on my list that she couldn't see me.

9 mother-less months..and i can't see her?!

so upset...
wanna die..

i need ppl who care about me to talk to me..

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